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Agent Orange: If I’m Mr Lisch, I’m writing a strongly worded letter

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And there you have it, week 1 of the all new, all singing, all dancing, freshly botoxed NBL season is done. Much ado has been made in the past 100 days since Uncle Larry handed over his credit card and so far it hasn’t disappointed. For the Taipans it has been a mixed 7 days. Firstly, as last Thursday’s game progressed, it become more and more apparent that the Orange Army was embracing Mark Worthington like a nice pair of Lululemon yoga tights embraces my dainty (yet powerful) man bottom. He added the extra grit that cemented last Thursday’s win against the Hawks (note: that joke kills at concreting conventions) and performed admirably in the loss against the Kings. If there was any doubt he’d fit in, it’s been erased like my Internet browser history when my wife gets home from holiday. However, it was the Doyenne of the Fist Pump, Alex Loughton, who won the inaugural Agent Orange Stone Cold Steve Austin award for the biggest hit of the week. Alex’s LEGAL screen on Hawk import Kevin Lisch rattled the teeth of his ancestors and will echo through his gene pool well into the future. It was brutal and outstanding. If I’m Mr Lisch, I’m writing a strongly worded letter to my teammates who failed to warn me about the Great Wall of Loughton and my imminent reservation into the Smackdown Hotel (get well soon, Kevin).

After the hard fought win against a salary-cap-packed Hawks on Thursday, the loss against Sydney arrived like a nude snapchat from a Queensland politician (FNQ politics is strange… http://bit.ly/1VXDPtS). It was shocking, surprising and fairly unimpressive. The Kings came out with a point to prove after an enfeebled pre-season and quickly set to putting the Taipans on the rotisserie. Backing up only 48hrs after the Hawks game finished, the men in orange looked tired and shell-shocked. In the aftermath of the game questions have been asked of new import Markel Starks. On the back of winning the MVP award at the pre-season tournament, his form so far hasn’t been great. Let me remind you, though, that if we got rid of every player that had an ordinary couple of games I wouldn’t have made it out of the Tiny Taipans program. (Note: I was the first Tiny Taipan to graduate at the age of 31.) Agent Orange is confident he will rebound and what better time to do it than against the Crocs!

Over the past couple of years the Reptile rumble has felt fairly routine: guys with orange and green shirts turn up, the orange guys win and the green guys go home soaked in their own tears. This season, there is more spice in the mix with 2 of the Agent’s (former) favourite Taipans joining the ranks of the enemy, Mitch Young and Corey Maynard. They, as well as their other brothers in green, will be out to make a statement and to arrest their 100% losing record. Despite giving a spirited effort in their 2 losses this season, it’s hard to see them getting on top of a Taipans team keen to keep their Orange acolytes appeased, especially if super sub and scoring savant Cam Tragadh is back from injury and ready to explode. At the Snake Pit, crocodiles are an endangered species.

By King Podge

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Nat Where You At

Nat Where You At

Basketball Junkie
Basketball junkie living in the real South Beach (Wollongong!). I talk too much about basketball, eat too much bacon and reminisce about the Seattle SuperSonics almost everyday.
Nat Where You At

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6 comments
Drew White
Drew White

Its going to be so exciting Ive got underpants on for tonights reptile rumble.

Lani Dennis
Lani Dennis

Good read! And I've got the Crocs by 5 - goooo team!! \U0001f40a\U0001f40a